Would You Like Fries With That?
by writing love on your arms
Summary: Subway. Burger King. Any fast food is normally okay. Add Emmett Cullen into the mess, and you get mass world destruction in the small town of Forks.
1. Subway

**haha. you all know that subway commercial.  
then you add in emmett and oh my.  
plus, I can totally see me, my boyfriend, and our friend liam doing the exact same thing. XD**

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**Would You Like Fries With That?  
vampyre victim xx**  
_**1; Subway**_

**xoxo;**

**Isabella Marie Swan;**

It all started with a commercial.

While I was over at the Cullen's mansion one day, Emmett deiced that he wanted to watch the "Human News", as he put it. Nobody had an objection to that, for it was Emmett, Jasper and I in the house. (Everyone else was out hunting.)

So, Emmett turned on the TV, not really expecting anything … well, big. Forks was a small town, what was going to be on the news? The worst we'd get was a break in at the Pizza Pallor or something. It was funny to watch Emmett watch TV. He sat there with these big, bright, golden eyes, just fixated on the TV like there was nothing in the room. He would rock back and forth, mumble to himself about what was on the news …. It was like he'd never seen the news before. If I had a video camera, I would have recorded him for further black mail.

Everything was going smoothly. Jasper was curled up on a chair, reading a book, and Emmett was watching the T.V while I was busy watching Emmett melodramatically react to the TV. However, since we are talking about Emmett Cullen here, you can never assume that everything will be okay …

Then the commercial came on. It rattled on for a few seconds, roughly around thirty. As soon as the news came back on, I knew instantly that Emmett had an idea. Jasper had put his book down, looking at Emmett with a confused look on his face. I was only sure that he could feel the emotion bouncing off Emmett. The burly vampire grasped the end of the couch, bouncing up and down like a two year old on a bed. It was amusing; yes, but there is _always_ a problem following after an infamous "Emmett Cullen Idea".

"Bellaaaa?" He whined towards me, putting more emphasis on the 'a' than more people would. This is not a good sign; if you know Emmett, you know instantly that it means trouble. I mentally groaned in my head before responding, "What?"

"Can we go to subway? Please? Pretty please? I'll pay you five hundred dollars – wait, make that one thousand. Pleaseee?" And when he set in the big, golden, puppy dog eyes with his face, it was hard not to resist. Plus, add in Jasper and his emotion controlling, I was willing to let Emmett have his fun. Ah, damn. I knew that this battle was won, I had to give in.

"Uh …" I was caving, and I knew that Jasper's powers were playing a huge part in that too. I sighed, "Okay, let's go." I had caved; there was no way I was going to lose this battle; not with Emmett and his pleading eyes and Jasper and his emotion control. By the time I turned around, Emmett and Jasper were already at the garage, sitting in Emmett's jeep with the car already started. Stupid, annoying, vampire speed.

"Bella! Hurry up! You take forever, oh my gosh!" Emmett was gushing; oh lord. I didn't want to run to the car; my balance wasn't that stable on a flat surface and Edward would have a complete fit if I was hurt again under Emmett and Jasper's watch. Instead, because I didn't want to get hurt for two reasons; Edward and Jasper wasn't exactly that stable around human blood, I walked carefully to the car, trying my best not to fall flat on my face. I took barely two steps before Emmett had ran out of the car, picked me up, and ran back to the car in vampire speed and shoving me down into the seat, locking me in. This all took a matter of at least three seconds.

"Oh, this will be perfect! And it's almost seven, so not many people will be there for the dinner rush! Aw, damn. I was hoping that people would actually be there for the dinner rush, but maybe some people will still be there! Cause then it would make it so much better. Oh, this is going to be great fun, isn't it Bella and Jasper?" His speed was reaching over 100 miles per hour. I was going to be amazed if he ever slowed down. He was winding in and out of the driveway like a maniac, and before I knew it, we were crossing the bridge and I could faintly read the sign that said "Welcome To Forks! We Hope You Enjoy Your Stay!" and passing the Olympic Sweets Inn and rushing into the town. Within a matter of five minutes, we were at the gas station and Subway combined place. Emmett was grinning like a mad man as he stepped out of the car, waiting very patient for me to get out.

"Emmett, what are you going to do?" Jasper asked, but I had a feeling that he didn't really need to ask him what he was going to do; it was probably just fabricating something for me to leave me utterly clueless. (Didn't matter, it was already working.)

He tapped his temple, indicating that within time, I'd figure it out. Or something like that, I wasn't too sure. He quickly rushed into Subway, way to fast for a normal human, and Jasper and I just followed after him. I was sure that we'd all get weird looks after this. Not to mention that I'd be scared for pretty much the rest of my life.

"Hello and welcome to Subway! What may I get you?" The voice was overly perky, like a plastered on smile. It was sickening; it reminded me of Laruen's fake smiles. Emmett tried his best to contemplate what he wanted; but he wouldn't eat anything. He'd get a lot of food and then just give it to me, it was how he worked.

"Can I get a sandwich? Like, the one with turkey and cheese and lettuce?" The girl nodded her head and started to make the sandwich. Once she was one, she asked, "Would you like anything else with that?"

Emmett sunk down to her level, and Jasper and I leaned in closer, since we were right behind him. I gulped, I was afraid of what he would say. Emmett seemed to hesitate, but eventually said (while pulling out five dollars), "Can I … uh … can I get some … you know, …. jizz, with that?"

What the hell, Emmett!?

Jasper was silently cracking up laughing. In fact, he had to leave the room and rush into the 'bathroom' and burst out into a silent laughter there because it was just so funny to him. I, on the other hand, was appalled, as was the girl with obliviously fake blonde hair.

"Sir … we … we don't have that here."

Emmett looked horror struck. "But the commercial said I could get anything I want! And dammit, I want jizz on my Subway sandwich!"

Oh God, kill me now.

By this time, people were looking up from where they were sitting, food dropping out of their mouths, as they looked up at a not ashamed Emmett and a very beat red me.

"Sir … I believe you should leave this restaurant before I call the cops."

"Fine! But just so you know, I'm going to sue you and your god forsaken ugly place! For the record, last time I got a sandwich here, I managed to get jizz on it. And now you tell me I cannot get it? Fine! I'll sue your ass and fucking win!"

And with that, he stormed out, faking anger, taking me along beside him. Jasper was already in the car, waiting for us as he shoved me in and started the car before driving off.

"Emmett Cullen, what the hell!?"


	2. Mayo?

**My birthday is today! July 2****nd****, how about that? Fourteen? Oh god. PERMIT AND JOB TIEM.  
it's short, but it's to the point. XD**

**Haha;  
****Bella;** EMMETT CULLEN. YOU ARE NO MATCH FOR MAH KUNG FU SKILLZZZ. (ATTACK)  
**Jasper;** …  
**Emmett;** BUT ALAS! I HAVE THE ONE WEAPON YOU FEAR! THE … THE BAGEL!  
**Jasper;** My, oh my.  
**Bella;** THE BAGEL! I HAVE BEEN DEFEDATED! OH NO. (cringes in fear)

**Emily (KawaiiKingdom****)** **and I had way to much fun earlier today. XD**

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_**Would You Like Fries With That?**_**  
tourniquet . love . spite  
****xoxo;**

_**2; Mayo?**_

**Emmett McCarty Cullen;  
****  
Two Weeks Later;**

Two weeks had passed since I was grounded by my lovely mother figure, Esme. I do not fully understand _why_ she grounded me – I mean; really, it was just a simple joke. Can't the vampires harass the humans without getting into trouble? Apparently we can't. Well, I mean, okay, so that goes love, life, everything that I _have ever worked for_. Gone. All gone.

Damn you Esme.

So here I sat, without an Xbox, listening to Jasper chat happily about how he had beaten all my high scores on the games due to the fact that I was grounded until tomorrow at midnight. I wasn't exactly angry with myself – I was angry at Esme for actually being the motherly figure. I mean, I am over a hundred years old now; it's about time I earned some respect from her. I mean, you never see Edward grounded!

But, of course, Edward is far too much of a prude … And yet he ran off to Italy to get killed and he _still_ wasn't grounded – and I was for asking a simple question. Where's the justice in this world? I sighed, moving around in mine and Rosalie's room, putting on some boxers, a tee shirt and pants, leaving the room, itching to play the beloved Xbox that I _bought with my own freaking money._

"Having fun, Emmett?" Jasper sneered. I had to resist the urge to strangle him. Alice must have seen it in her vision and shot me a warning glare, along with Edward. I said nothing in response, but grabbed the keys to my Jeep Wrangler.

"Are you actually going somewhere? Aren't you grounded?" Jasper was rubbing it in my face again and I flipped him the bird as I walked out.

"I'd hate to get on Emmett's bad side …" Bella muttered as I slammed the door behind me. I heard Edward, Alice, Rosalie and everyone else leave to go hunting as I pulled out of the drive way. It was amazing how Bella and Jasper had formed such a intense bond, despite his constant blood lust after her blood. Edward was willing to leave Bella alone with Jasper – My god the world _must_ be ending.

And I don't know how, but saying that … It made it all click in my mind. Suddenly, a brilliant idea flashed through it, like the light bulb clicking for its first time in the light. Amazing, truly brilliant, must I say. Now read that with a British accent.

I sped down the highway, winding past the "Welcome To Forks!" sign, past the hotel that rested off the corner of the street, and rushed to the Gas Station, which had the lovely Subway combined to it. Had it really been only two weeks since I was last here? It seemed like it had been forever; and of course, me, being the vampire, it might have really been forever. I also clearly liked to complicate the matter, so it really had been forever. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

I parked my huge Jeep and walked into the Subway, acting very calm as I put my plan into the works. Looking around, it looked like I had scared all the workers away. Success. It meant a fresh new start, one with new workers who I could easily get to go on my side. A wide grin was spreading across my face.

"Hello, sir. Welcome to Subway. Make I take your order?" The person asked; he was the over friendly, would do anything for you, gay, chess type, type of boy. Excellent. I looked up at the menu, seeing I had nothing to chose from. I quickly thought back to what Bella likes and the smile on my face just became bigger.

"Can I get a turkey sandwich with American cheese and lettuce …" I was off into space now, thinking about how this plan was sheer brilliance. I watched him go at a human pace, thinking about how many sandwichs I could make before he was even done. Finally, he was done and asked if I would like anything else. I pretended to stutter.

"Well, uh .. I was wondering, could I get jizz on it? Instead of mayo?" I asked quietly. The kid looked at me through his glasses, and nodded. He said he'd be right back, and ran off towards the bathroom. I actually had to bite my cheek from laughing so hard.

The kid returned minutes later and handed me the sandwich. I could easily see the white stuff that looked like mayo, but was not. Oh, how she would fall for this …

"That'll be ten twenty four, sir." The guy flushed a bright pink as I handed him the money and he finished wrapping up the sandwich. "If anyone asks, I never did it."

I shook my head, "Of course. Thank you so very much." I flashed all my white, shiny, teeth at him, leaving him to be 'dazzled', as Bella put it, and left.

All was well.

**xoxo;**

"God, Jasper, I'm starving. I'm craving a turkey sandwich …" Bella said. Jasper ran into the kitchen and back.

"Sorry, Bella. Esme didn't get turkey … Amazing. She didn't get turkey. I hear Emmett, though. Smells like he got you Subway …" Jasper did not smile. He could sense my emotions clearly; they were raging out of control. Blast.

"Emmett Cullen, I love you!" I heard Bella say as I came into the house, carrying the Subway bag with me.

"I know, Bells. I know you do. I am, clearly, the best brother you can ever have, am I right?" Bella's smile got really big as she took away the Subway from my hands. I looked at Jasper with a smug smile. We watched Bella tear apart of the Subway food with a mixture of amusement and disgust. My emotions must have been out of check because Jasper kept staring at me funny whenever I saw Bella get closer to the sandwich. I was like a giddy school girl on her first day of school! Wait, what?

She tore open into the sandwich and took a huge bit out of hit, trying to savoir the moment or something like that. I couldn't being to imagine how that must have tasted to her. Women have weird cravings.

"This tastes kinda funny … The mayo is really sticky …" She looked at her sandwich before I burst out laughing.

"Bella, that's not mayo. That's anything far from mayo."

**- xo end.**


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